In another's eyes
by Donna Q
Summary: Harm contemplates his feelings for Mac over a late night dinner.


DISCLAIMER: The characters included in this story belong to their creators -Bellasario, et al- and the current network/production company (CBS, Paramount). I am only borrowing them, no money is being made from the distribution of this fan fiction - no copyright infringement is intended. 

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I'm just a fan. I'm not claiming to be some great writer. Just like you, I simply get an idea- a "what-if" in my head, and it won't go away 'til I play it out. Thus, the story. I've never written one before, so forgive me if you find my efforts lacking. Feel free to e-mail me with comments and/or suggestions. I will say this though, if you start the story and don't like it…stop reading. Please don't crucify me. I don't always like all the stories I read either- that doesn't mean the writer is an idiot. 

Please do not further distribute without the consent of the author. – Thanks.

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IN ANOTHER'S EYES

By: DQ

"What's wrong with you Harm? You're making me nervous. Will you just sit down already?"

"Sorry, I'm just a little restless." Harm looked back over his shoulder. "Why don't you go ahead and go home. I'm not fit company for anyone tonight." 

"You've been distracted all night. Are you worried about the Jernigan case? You don't have anything to worry about you know. It's pretty clear that he's innocent…"

"That's not it. I don't know. I'm just tired I guess." Harm's hand drew down his face in an unconscious gesture. 

"I know what you need. Come over here and sit down." Harm hesitated- finally he crossed the living room and joined her on the couch. As strong hands began to knead the tension out of his shoulders, he began to relax. Sighing softly, he settled sown, beginning to enjoy the rhythm of her hands on his shoulders. 

"Much better. Let me go grab the wine real quick."

Harm leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. The window rattled briefly as a plane passed over. Tensing, Harm let his thoughts focus on the reason behind his discontent. How had he let things progress this far? For four years, he had attempted to sort through his feelings for Sarah MacKenzie. Naturally, because of his history with Diane he had immediately been attracted to her. However, as he really got to know Mac, he had come to care for her as an individual and as a close friend. If he was honest with himself, she was his best friend. So when had that changed- become more? When had he crossed that invisible line between caring and loving? He had loved her as a friend. So how had things all led to this moment in time? Sitting on a couch, listening to the rain, knowing that he loved Mac as more than a friend. The military stance on fraternization between officers was clear. So what was he thinking…?

"I can't get this bottle opened. Can you…Harm? Are you OK? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I…it would just be better if we both got some rest. Do you mind? I've got to be in court tomorrow and it's been a really long day." Harm stood and crossed the apartment to get her coat.

"You're having second thoughts aren't you? I knew this was a bad idea. Look, you approached me. You called me remember? I would never have…"

"I know. I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I want right now. I do know that we should have just left things alone." Harm paused, and continued softly "I never meant to hurt you. I hope you know that. I care about you." He stopped, not sure how to continue. Silence stretched between them for a long minute. Staring into each others eyes, all the unspoken regrets, apologies, and concern became tangible. 

"I know that. You don't have to explain. You care about what you do. Nothing and no one can ever come between you and your position at JAG. Actually, I understand better than you think. I've been expecting this for a while now. I always knew I was only second best. "

"Renee…I… thank you."

"Goodbye Harm." Renee caressed his face gently, and with one last glance, walked out of his apartmet and his life. 

Harm slowly made his way over to the kitchen counter. He picked up the phone and contemplated what he was about to do. Dialing the number he knew as well as his own, he prepared to change his life. He prayed he hadn't waited to long.

"Mac, hey it's me. Look, when you get in from the airport give me a call. I really need to talk to you. I know after the trip back from Australia you're going to be exhausted, but this is really important.

Don't worry about the time, I'll be up. Welcome home…"

The End.


End file.
